Crystal Meth Recovery Blog for Gay Men | Stories, Tips & Coaching

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Hot meth express. All aboard. That was a big joke of mine during active addiction. Like most drug-induced humor, it was not really funny. The effects of meth on my brain convinced me that I loved the chaos of my life in active addiction. Each day was more unpredictable than the last. It also conv...

Dec 28, 2024

5 Steps to Understanding Willpower

Just because I've been in recovery from meth for six years does not mean I have more willpower than you. It means I set up my environment to make decision-making easier. You aren't weak. You aren't "doing it wrong". You aren't forever an addict. I want you to stop wishing for more willpower and s...

by Dr. Dallas Bragg — Dec 28, 2024 addiction recovery strong will

Employment Post-Addiction

Three weeks after quitting crystal meth cold turkey. Three weeks after a year of nearly daily injections. Three weeks into an unknown and overwhelming existence. No car. No home. No money. I had been hired as a server at a taco joint the day my kids picked me up from jail. The inspiration to get ...

Dec 28, 2024 addiction recovery

Even DoorDash Is a Trigger

Some days it feels like you'll never be able to escape reminders of crystal meth use. That's because, as gay men, we have slutted it up everywhere within a 50-mile radius of our home. I wonder if that's how people with alcohol use disorder feel on a daily basis. There are beer ads on highway bill...

Dec 28, 2024

Crystal Meth: The Next AIDS Crisis

The following contains a personal story, this week's podcast, and a supplementary study guide for the episode. I stood surveying the bedroom setup: My wooden box with a glass top sat on the bed, equipped with clean pipe, fresh cloth, and a straw scoop. The laptop/ TV showed a YouTube EDM playlis...

Dec 27, 2024

What You Did Is Not Who You Are

Isn't it funny how numbers can earmark memorable events? I remember noticing "4:39" glowing red on my dashboard. I glanced at the time right before I turned my car off one frigid January evening. I had to be in the office by 9:00 am. My buddy Harris (name changed) and I had tried all night to fin...

Dec 27, 2024

Podcasts and Books and Research!

Without Grindr, Sniffies, and Porn, what would I do with my extra time? Have you ever tried to calculate how many hours you've spent of your energy and time staring at your phone/laptop with absolutely zero benefit to show for it? I estimated my own investment the other week and became nauseous. ...

Dec 27, 2024

The Point of No Return

A little round face caught in my peripheral vyed for my attention. My intent was to keep my head down and avert my eyes from everyone in the waiting room. I looked up from my shoes to the brown toddler in the next chair. She was on the lap of someone I assumed was her mother. The lady shouted i...

Dec 27, 2024

Meditation in Recovery

My parTy supplies were kept inside a wooden box with a glass top. The inside was lined with velvet, complete with a strap to hold the pipe and a pocket for the baggie. A crafty buddy of mine fixed it up for me. We used to do a few hot rails, then tackle craft projects and/or dress in drag. The gl...

Dec 27, 2024 addiction recovery meditation recovery alchemy

Tina: The Great Puppet Master

Most of y'all reading this won't remember Anastacia. No, not the Disney film. The singer-songwriter who rocketed to fame in the early 90s then plummeted similarly. Her music was prominent on my "Tina Tunes" Spotify playlist. During the first year of meth use, before it became severe, I spent many...

Dec 27, 2024

Doing the Work in Recovery

The large church parking lot was empty except for the cluster of cars parked near the side door. This would make incognito almost impossible. I slowly pulled in, avoiding eye contact with the turning heads of the group gathered outside. After turning my car off, I could hear their indistinguishab...

Dec 27, 2024

Letter to Myself in Active Addiction

August 4, 2023: It is August 4, 2018. A day before your birthday. I know that you’ve roamed around uptown Charlotte, NC in a confused fog for hours looking for your belongings. You hid your bag of clothes, laptop, and toiletries somewhere in a parking building. Now you have been desperately tryin...

Dec 27, 2024

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